Beautiful World

I started out the evening with the word Koyaanisqatsi, and feeling that way too. I struggled for a few hours.

Sometimes life moves too slowly for me and I feel like everything is still - like under a bell jar. Suffocatingly still.

My job last night was to play on 2 sets in Providence as part of the Terrastock Music Festival Meet'n'Greet night. One with Joe Turner, whose video Warren and I just finished, and the other with Abunai!

On the way down to the gig, I tuned back into a lingering dark feeling that began Tuesday, probably from exhaustion and jet lag, as a friend pointed out. Negative feelings I won't get into.

Anyway, I was having dinner with my friend Jay (of the band Bright, who was also playing last night) at the Cuban Revolution Cafe in Providence when my cell phone rang. Whoops, it was Joel, saying we're onstage doing our set and why don't you come on over now...So before I could have two bites or sip my sangria properly I rushed off. I downed the sangria.

Luckily the club was 2 seconds away. They were on the first song when I stepped in. I waited 'til it finished, and then hopped onstage for the rest of the set.

I really got into it. I was very there. Part of thinking so much about the point of life is that it can get you into the "be here now" frame of mind.

From then on I felt better. The whole set rocked and it felt fucking great and huge to be onstage in front of so many listeners. The lights were off and we had swirly projections going behind us. It reminded me of Terrastock I, in 1997. The OG Terrastock, which I attended and enjoyed immensely.

Scott called and we had a chat about his situation. About the state of Turkish Queen. The phase that the band is in right now. It felt so good to talk to him. Despite instability in his life, the musical connection we have and his encouragement are a stable pillar for me. Even when things get so choppy and rough. We cried, we laughed. And all. We're psyched for the show we have coming up. May 15th TT's with His Name is Alive.

Our chat led me to catharsis.

So then, with my teary bleary look I went inside to chill briefly before I went back onstage with Abunai! I had a vodka tonic. Then I adapted my outfit to be more of the Turkish Queen since I was a guest artist with this band. I warmed up in the ramshackle, under-construction basement of the club, amidst the chaos of noise coming from upstairs.

I played my flute and wailed a bit on Lord Hampton, a murder ballad. I rocked the line from 'Caravan'. Joel was on sound, so I could hear the flute and it sounded awesome. Then they played a few other numbers. It was fun to see these guys, now my friends, play and do their thing. Then it was finally time for Two Brothers, which I was so anticipating!! It was HUGE. There were 6 of us onstage. 2-4 of us singing at any given time. It was like some big arena rock show from the 70s that just blows your mind. It felt so good to sing those lyrics and play those lines. It all dovetailed beautifully. Brendan's and my voice blended so nicely. It's a damn good song, but I felt like we took it to another level entirely.

That feeling is what doing music, or art, is all about.

Shortly after all that was done, as I was chilling out and collecting myself, post-performance, Warren called - a most pleasant surprise. We chatted and it was very nice. I got to recap my T6 experience for him. And I'm sure he could tell what a good mood I was in by that point.

My friends and favorite people made me feel very loved, and that feeling it still with me.

I also met some fun folks and traded CDs at the fest. Except it didn't just feel like "networking". It was fun 'cause they were nice and friendly and somewhat interesting. Although, at the end of the night, I noticed one of them (who had been perfectly fine eariler in the evening) was yelling and tossing Narragansett beer cans around, making everyone a little uncomfortable...

I Sing Thee Body and Mind

So I'm still working through PK Dick's A Scanner Darkly. I went to see the Body Worlds 3 (http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/pages/home.asp) exhibit at the Houston Museum of Natural Science yesterday. There were brain slices and muscles flayed and displayed. Smoker's lungs and cirrhosian livers. YUCK. Ulcers and tumors, too.

This all ties into the book nicely because I got to see the corpus collosum up close, and examine the hemispheres.

But about this time in the book, I find myself getting a little bored. And I can't read the German parts.

I decided to (most likely) take German this summer.

I found Body Worlds 3 dispappointing, despite its obvious efforts to be artistic and diginified. Perhaps I've seen more whacked out art than the average science museum-attendee...Guess I'm hard to impress or something. I mean, you'd think cross-sections of bodies/parts would be fascinating. I wasn't disgusted at all. Just indifferent.

Anyone interested in the body should read Janaka Stucky's books published by Black Ocean. He is a talented young undertaking author. Local, too. In fact you can see him here as one of my myspace buds.

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Trying to get into a dark frame of mind to make a video for Lord Hampton. A murder ballad by Abunai!

Watching Capote last night helped. I just read & saw "In Cold Blood" last year, on recommendation from Ad Frank. Dark.

Warren's always talking about shapes. Texas is a shape looming large while you're there, lemme tell ya.

Everything's "Texas-" and/or has longhorns attached to it. Hee hee. Kitsch.

I'm from Sugarland, where Tom Delay was a former rep. Apparently there was some recent gathering at a hotel with supports and objectors virtually fistfighting over the man.

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I need to make a nice poster for the TQ/His Name is Alive bill, if 4AD or whatever label they're on now hasn't beat me to the punch.
Where's Vaughan Oliver when I need him?

I expected lots of pressure last night. Double rehearsal for the big Terrastock show Thursday in Providence. Twasn't a problem. The remnants of my birthday cake and some champagne helped.

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Donnie Darko and the soundtrack are still so much in my mind.

Indulged

Dear Reader,

Been busy this week. I've been living too much to blog as frequently.

Last night I played at the Other Side. Some friends came out and listened and bought me copious drinkx for my BDay. Malbec and Chimay...mmm. After the show I had to go to a rehearsal, and after that I ended up at the Model Cafe. So I'm a bit tired today...

After the show I got a warm response, which was nice because during the performance I couldn't tell if folks were into it. I had to compete with blenders making smoothies, etc, but hey it's all part of the gig. I sold some CDs, and even the jazz cats who were on after me really liked what I did. I wasn't sure they'd be into it, but they dug:)

Friday and Saturday I did the butoh shows which went alright. Some folks came out to support. I felt better about the second night.

My poor voice. I've been a horsey instead of a birdie. I really shouldn't agree to do certain shows sans mic ever again. It's too straining.

But the healing continues. Damn bird flu!

Funny, I first heard of it through Ben Walker years ago. He claimed he had it.

Did you ever think a lover was so cute you wanted to eat them up!!???

Spring is here and it's time to remove layer 2 of blankets in my bed. Time for short nightgowns. Time for new spring dresses.

Worked on the rough version of the Joe video this week with Warren. He lets me have a lot of say in the editing, and it seems as though we're pretty aligned. It's fun to see different worlds come together. Pony people + Joe Turner & the Seven Levels + scene friends = video entertainment

Hopefully, Dan will be into making a video for his Lord Hampton murder ballad. I can't wait to work on that. It's got all the elements for a great story. We need peeps in puffy jackets.

Going to Houston for the weekend for Easter and my birthday. Looking forward to some rest after a lot of commotion. And it's gonna be a busy spring and summer.

Been catching up with friends lately. It's always nice.

In the last 6 days:
I went to 3 parties & 1 potluck
I performed 3 shows
had 3 rehearsals
did editing on a video
made a delicious nutritious seasonal salad with feta, organic tomatoes, cucumbers, organic basil, organic lemon juice, & balsamic vinegar

Summing up is fun for me. I like lists and I use the calculator function on my computer a lot, too. I'm computing...I'm controlling...I'm the operator of my pocket calculator...{Kraftwerk}

Whoa, I'm tiredly zoning out so I'll wrap this up about now.

BTW, I finished the Strange Fruit book. The melody will sound from my lips soon.

Save me from the shit/All's Well That Ends

Well a decent end to a shitty day. Crappy weather, less-than-ideal communication with friends.

Thank GOD for tomorrows.

Had a rehearsal for the butoh shows this weekend. Busy week, er month, er few months.

Sunday's show at Dante's in Portland went well. Here's a pic of my name on the marquee, an exciting thing for me to behold:I got $PAID$. 45 minutes of just my stuff, and a good recording to boot.