SO DEPRESSED-CITY CHANGES

Current mood: sad
Category: Food and Restaurants

After work today, I was SO looking forward to going to Caffe Paradiso in Harvard Square and getting a cappuccino or gelato affogato or something. What I found in its place was yet another empty building.

It almost broke my heart to still be able to see the neon Cappuccino sign inside. I had been going there for 10 years through sun rain snow and various boyfriends.

Where did it go? Why did it go?

I read just now that the Greenhouse is also gone.

Harvard Square is becoming less and less of a destination.

Casualties in the last year alone:
Caffe Paradiso
Greenhouse
Ferranti-Dege
Toscanini's

WTF??? I come back from three weeks in Turkey, determined to get on with things, genuinely feeling better and more energetic only to come home to this? I don't recognize it anymore around here. I'm only 30, but it makes me feel like an old woman. Out of touch and irrelevant to the goings-on around me.

{And half of Cambridge is completely torn up beyond recognition, making it look burnt out like some war zone.}

I am so saddened.

Has style gone out of style only to be replaced by temporary dollar signs? I am disgusted. Who is behind all this and how did they get in control of everything?

I feel like not a citizen of this world when things like this happen.

Mercury Retropost

Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Feeling calm and collected now, mellow even...

This morning started off with a car crash. Literally. I was waiting for my baby to come home from the gym, and I had been lying in bed thinking how peaceful and quiet it was, when all-of-a-sudden, I heard THAT sound. Screeching wheels and metal scraping and klanging against metal. I don't like it! I had just spoken with my true love a little while before the sound. All I could think of was how sometimes he doesn't put his seatbelt on right away...I told myself it couldn't be him, and that I might've just heard some construction noises or something like that, but then I heard a fire engine whirring. I freaked out and went towards the window. I could see it, and it was BAD. A car {not his thank Heavens} had crashed into and knocked down a cement light pole, as well as some street signs. Anyway, rubberneckers were lining up and there had been children in the car and they were being treated by EMTs. Just as I was going to look in the window I heard the front door open and my baby walked in.

I was struck at how fragile and vulnerable life is. A lesson I would be reminded of again later in the day as I learned one of my bandmates had a cancerous tumor removed yesterday. Lord be with us all. I'm going to visit him tomorrow. After what I so recently went through with my mom, it's pretty freaky, but now I see all the more clearly how much certain things (like hospital visits) can mean.

All the strangeness aside, today was nice and I say again how good it is to be back at home. On my promenade through the city this morning, I saw and heard from {through myspace, no doubt} a couple of people I know, from the past. It was nice hearing from old acquaintances:) Dietrich says Mercury Retrograde is a time during which lost things can be found. It's so true. A day or 2 ago, I found one of my favorite earrings I hadn't seen in months. I had given up on it, but still kept the other half of the pair. I did some ab routine, and I was getting up off my mat and just saw the little earring on the floor. Unbelievable considering that I had vacuumed that spot several times and moved furniture around and never found it. But there it was, just sparkling at me. Hope lies eternal.

There is a condo complex across the street from my house, and it has a lovely entry way. It says "Arden Court". There is a wrought-iron fence that features lovely scroll work, and there are very pretty, simple flowers growing in and around the fence. Magenta roses, I think, and some tropical looking orange flowers that have long stems and look vaguely tuberous. I think I'll take some pix of the place. It's a lovely little view. It cheers me.

Travelling in Turkey end post

Current mood: pained
Category: Travel and Places

{Pictures from the trip forthcoming}

Istanbul. 5AM Sunday June17th.

My father and I said goodbye, as he departs for Amsterdam and me Milano.

It has been 3 long weeks, and I am definitely ready to be home. It's always like this. This long is my breaking point.

A) To be in my own home instead of others, or hotel rooms, no matter how luxurious. Nothing compares with home.
B) To be amongst my own things...stereo, instruments, my own bed!!
C) No more plastic bags. I travel Eastern-style, which means all dirty clothes, shoes, and cosmetics go in separate bags {Tr. is "torba"}

Overall, we went to Istanbul, Ankara, Kayseri, Afyon, Bodrum, and Fethiye. I guess Istanbul is my favorite. I like big cities, and it qualifies. Plus it has ocean all around. So there is the double happiness of city and sea.

We traveled by plane, by bus, and even rented a Fiat Albea (kind of a shi*box, that one...).

Across land and sea to fulfill my mother's last wish, to take in the culture of my ancestors.

Our last day was nice. Back in Istanbul. An old family friend called, and we caught up for almost an hour. She remembers everything my mom had told her about our affairs, relatives, etc. She is such a nice human being. Maalesef (Tr. for "unfortunately"), she lives in Ankara, and though we rang her and emailed, meeting up was not to be. Ayla's family is from the Black Sea area of Turkey, near Russia, and I have been there, but I was too young to appreciate it. I got pinched there by some stranger on the street because I was wearing shorts, of modest length even. It's not like that everywhere, but I still feel wary of showing a lot of leg and arm at the same time.

Men are like wolves, you see, and they wanna gobble you up! At least that's what their burning eyes seem to say sometimes.

Sigh. What comes next, I don't know. More of the same? Something better? A world-wide tour? Bring it.

Travelling in Turkey pt.2

Current mood: calm
Category: Travel and Places

Hello from Turkiye, still...

I'm in the home stretch now. After 2 weeks of chasing around lawyers, business partners and other complicated bureaucratic shit in several cities, we are at the beach. Fresh air, ocean breezes, gorgeous sunsets, amazing 5 course meals and beaches and all that.

It's been the hardest year of my life, and now my dad and I are taking some much-needed vacation time.

Anyway, it's so hard to unwind from being so wound up all the damn time!! Thank Higher Power we have a few days here. I think I actually started enjoying myself today.

Last night, at dinner, there was a cheesy duo with sequencers playing live music. GB. General Business. Covers I despise. They were playing all SAD stuff, and my father was very emotional. Crying...So I asked the maitre'd to have the "band" play something upbeat. Normally, being a musician and all, I would NEVER do this, but I couldn't take my dad getting so upset when we were sitting down to a nice meal for 2 hours. They misunderstood me, and thought I was sayng he wanted to sing a song, and, through our waiter, told me they thought I was being rude. Finally, I managed to make myself clear, and they "got happy".

Poppy kebab, in Istanbul, for Amy, who I've never even met...
It was lamb, I think, and it didn't show any signs of flowers, and I didn't get high after eating it, neither!

Saturday, my dad and I went to Afyon, er, more properly Afyonkarahisar. The town the band Black Fortress of Opium and our album proper is named after. He, almost 65!!, and I climbed all the way up to the top. There was a small boy about 11(?) who served as an informal guide. It was about 700 crude steps up, and tough in the heat. I was pouring sweat, but I had to do it.

Now, I'd seen the castle in pictures, but it was nothing like seeing it up close, or from a short distance.

So awesome! Such an impossible rock. Jagged every which way.

I think I can understand why people climb mountains now.

I had to do it for artistic inspiration and to prove something to myself. I hope it will make me a better artist. More able to express truth and reflect the depth of human experience.

I have only a few days left of this relax time and I must enjoy it.

Thursday we will travel yet again, this time to spread my mother's ashes in the ocean at Fethiye. My father has brought them from Amerika, and they have been with us all this time. My mother is with us.