Dreams

Part 1:

Traveling again. Large body of water. Darkness. A strange feeling like going through a tunnel. Turkiye. With my parents. I didn't have my passport. But then I did have it.

Lately, I have many dreams about traveling and missing flights, etc. What does it mean???

Part 2:

Cynthia. Recalling a story to me, as if a dream within a dream. I found some kind of document with her writing that was like a letter to me or something. Her voice, in a voice-over. Vignettes. One involving a pipe with some disgusting fluid flowing harshly through it and spilling out along its way. It was like blood bile and puke and some other bodily stuff. It was the color of grapefruit juice. As I saw this disgusting liquid, I heard Cynthia's voice telling me she had protected me from certain things, but not in such obvious terms.

It's like I was in Ouspensky's basement. Perhaps I am.

Lately some days I'm not sure if my outfits match anymore, and it makes me think I may be losing it.

Camille Paglia said it's the artist's obligation to withdraw from society to create a body of work. I can see why.

Where did all my time go? Email? That's pathetic.

I read the new Uncut - all about Syd Barrett. There was a little quote about him from Damon Albarn, too. He mentioned a record he did a few years ago that he didn't think anyone heard, one that was totally inspired by Syd. DemoCrazy it's called. I have it. It's a 10" vinyl record. Cool and trippy. I bought it on a whim, as usual. It seems as though Albarn is rising in my mind as an inspiration.

The onion the oignon.

I barely spoke to anyone last night, and it felt nice, quiet, tranquil - calm. {Except when an old lover's cell phone rang me twice by accident.} Still, even that didn't rattle me. It can be so nice to just sit and read and sleep. I'm so lucid most of the time it can be exhausting.

I feel a certain erosion of personality taking place, even as I become stronger and more sure.

John Cage spoke of complete contrast and being comfortable with two opposites.