Love In Absentia

Overall, I've had a good weekend, and there's still even one day more.

This is despite:
attending a memorial for a dead friend
getting jilted by Warren

Yes, I feel like I'm waking up from a long dream. Not pleasant or nightmarish - neutral yet confusing. Flummoxing even...

He's seeing someone else, which is fine 'cause we weren't exclusive. But I really hoped we could work it out and that one day he would be nice to me again.

There's not much to miss, honestly.

I was hanging onto gossamer, hoping it would become hemp rope or something.

Plus, he's seeing someone we're both working on this movie with, and that makes it hard for me to want to stay involved.

I suspected something was up when she snapped at me in a meeting last week...she barely knows me, and she acted hostile where previously she had been quite meek.

I'm so tired of talking about all this, so I'll let it rest here for now.

After all, there is much else going on in my life. Much that is positive and forward moving.

Scott is in town for a few days. We hung out briefly yesterday. He was supposed to attend the memorial with me, but at the last minute he felt too sick too go, and as a result I was late. But I made it soon enough.

I cried a lot, but I was seated in the back so I don't think many/any saw my tearflow.

There were two large posterboards covered with pictures of the deceased in various stages of her life, from small girl to married woman.

The memorial was in the same space as their wedding, to which I was invited but didn't go.

I felt sad that I had missed it - such a happy day for them, both on their second marriages, I believe...And I remember the invitations, pretty with gold ribbons...

Anyway, the posterboard was so humble. I was struck by it - like that's all you are in the end. Pictures, memories...

I was very disappointed in Scott for not being able to go with me. Yeah I felt bad that he was sick, but he hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before and hadn't eaten enough the previous day either. In short he hadn't taken care of himself, and he let me down. I was so glad he would be able to go with me and he let me down.

Will I ever learn?

On a positive note, I went out last night with my friend Dorian. We dressed up in summer's best finery and went over to the Lizard Lounge. The Boy Joys were playing two sets. They're a Bee Gees cover band starring Ad Frank, Paula Kelley, and Aaron Tap. The drummer kicked ass too - Jeff Norcross. And my engineer at Moontower Studios, Mike Quinn, did a stupendous job on keys.

They did two sets - like 20+ songs???!!!!

Need an interrobang!?

The second set was worth sticking around for.

On Friday, I went to see A Scanner Darkly. I had asked a few friends to come along, and it ended up being like 10 of them. Nice to be surrounded by (mostly) happy friends.

At least out of the Warren thing I've gained some very real friends.

But as far as the movie, the book/detail gave me more to mentally chew on. However, I enjoyed the rotoscope effect. Trippy. Big. Graphic. I loved the way Winona Ryder's hair moved.

It was like a videogame.